Pages

My photo
Pasig City, NCR, Philippines
Behind that black shaded eye-wear beholds those eyes itching to see a bolder world.

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

❚ bitching #1

B-I-T-C-H-I-N-G.
masubukan ngang mambitch. at natawa naman ako sa sinabi sa urbandictionary(dot)com.


bitching132 up20 down
Repeatedly saying something over and over, or rather whining about it, therefore destroying the point you were trying to make and making you look like a complete bitch because no one is listening to you.
Stop your bitching about "rap is crap."

bitching141 up30 down
1.Complaining about sometime
2.Insulting someone repeatedly to make them feel bad, or to make you feel better. Or both.


bitching42 up31 down
An enjoyable way to releave stress.

at ito si bitch.

kahapon, nakita ko nanaman muli sila. pangatlo sa pinakahuling enrollment ko sa kolehiyo. nakita ko ang dalawang taong sumira ng buhay ko na dapat sana ngayon ay graduating na ko. at hanggang ngayon pinagsisihan ko kung bakit pa kasi ako pumatol noon sa laban na alam kong niloloko ko lang din naman ang sarili ko — ang magkagusto sa babae na hindi ko naman din gusto. kung baga, pinilit ko lang ang sarili ko na masaktan. masokista nga daw ako.

pagpasok ko ng gate, kitang-kita ko agad si bitch na nakaupo sa hilera sa gilid papasok ng lobby. nakita ko rin na pasulyap-sulyap din siya sakin habang ako ay naglalakad. kakaiba ang suot niya ngayon ah, medyo daring. kaso maliit pa rin siya. medyo kinulang man ang tela sa suot niya, hindi bagay kasi kitang-kita mo yung mapipintog at maiikling hita niya. in short, mas lalo siyang naging baboy.

hindi ko alam kung hanggang ngayon kontrabida pa rin ang tingin niya sakin. dahil noong pinagtaksilan nila ko ay nagdrama ako, sinulat ko noon lahat sa blog ang hinanakit ko sa kanila. ang kaso nabasa ni bitch, ako tuloy lumabas na masama. pero enough of that. napapakwento nanaman ako.

nakita ko siya kahapon mageenroll din. tinanong ko siya masaya ka ba? kasi ako oo, buti pala hindi naging tayo noh. marami akong natutunan sa sarili ko at higit sa lahat hindi ko na niloloko ang sarili ko. yan ang mga kataga na gusto kong sabihin sa kanya. nararamdaman ko kasi na piling niya gusto ko pa rin siya at nanghihinayang pa rin ako sa kanya.

at minsa‘y nadaan ako sa cr. sa aking pagkakalabas ay nakita ko siya na paparating naman sa cr ng mga babae. kasabay pa nito ay nakasalubong ko paglabas ang kaibigan na ilang linggo ko nang hindi nakikita. tinawag nito ang pangalan ko sabay yakap ng mahigpit. sa totoo, namula ako nang ginawa niya yun. hindi ko expected na gagawin niya yon dahil hindi naman kami ganun ka close. ako naman yumakap na rin. nakita ko ang reaksyon sa mukha ni bitch — hindi maipagkahulugan. nasundan pa ito ng kwentuhan. ngunit sa aking pagtataka ay parang hindi siya lumalabas ng cr hanggat nandoon kami. sa mga oras na yun tingin ko medyo nakaganti rin ako. :)

Monday, 24 October 2011

❚ best of friends

(read the first part)
...

I immediately responded, ‘tol anong ginagawa mo, lasing ka na.’

I didn't get infuriated nor offended. With the gut to kiss me, I know he was expecting the worst. But I realized while our lips in union, the heat I felt was different. It was difficult for me to explain the feeling and to let go, though I had to push him back. It was not anger reigning during those five seconds, and all I knew afterwards was my manhood started to spring.

‘Sorry buds, sinunod ko lang yung consequence nila.’

The girls shouted in grace ‘more! more!’ and we’re just too naive from all the teasing. I just said defensive, ‘tumigil na kayo lakas na ng amats nyo.’  Among the people in that room, I was the only one quite sober enough for I didn't drink that much, maybe the reason why I was easily affected with all their banter.

There on, I continued sympathizing with this tipsy girl whose almost about to cry. Until time calls for it, everyone was so liquored up heavily, they were stumbling on their way. ‘Guys, kaya niyo pa umuwi?’ I muttered. ‘Don‘t worry about us sanay na kami sa ganito, yung best friend mo alalayan mo.’ See you guys on Monday na lang then everyone went to their respective routes.

I was guiding him and still pretending I wasn‘t bothered by the kiss. And I know he do. He couldn‘t look at me in the face since that time. It was the most awkward moment of my life but, despite all I was interested of what‘s next to happen.

‘Kaya mo pa ba? Bakit kasi ang dami mong ininom eh.’
‘Kaya ko to,’ then you let you go off me. Shortly after, you tripped over something.
‘See, hindi mo na nga alam kung ano yang dinadaan mo.’

Typical, two drunks sitting in the gutter along the street; silent, waiting for a cab. The alcohol and the lethargic dawn started to kindle more strapping. And the yellow streetlights are the only source of consciousness.

‘Buds, ano kaya mo ba? Hatid kita sa inyo?’
‘Sarado na bahay namin buds, pwede ba sa iyo muna ako makitulog?’
I couldn't refuse a friend for a night so I said it‘s okay.

We fell asleep while drifting in the taxi. I couldn‘t resist sleeping so I just told the driver to wake me up when near. Thirty minutes after we were in my small rented room. He went straight off the bathroom and barfed out loud. In a minute or so, the room started to suffocate the rich liquor and all stuffs. I told him to change his clothes and lent some of my drawers. I was so tired I fell asleep without him noticing he was done. Then, an hour later I woke up. I saw him lying next to me and awake.

‘Oh, tapos ka na pala ‘di mo man lang ako ginising.’
You were reticent. ‘Do we have a problem here? Was it about earlier?’ Then you lean the opposite of me. As I forcefully held your shoulders towards me, you suddenly grabbed and kissed me. There was a pause as we looked into each other‘s eyes. This time, I let it happened. Our tongues went spinning for awhile and slowly our clothes started to scatter, both of us were in rage. These soaked and wrinkled sheets, the sounds of weeping and all quivering are proof this room were once dwelt by tainted innocence.

The morning after, I roused with you staring at me closely. It was the first time I get to appreciate his beauty. And the first words I heard of was I‘m sorry. ‘Ulol, fuck you!’ was my only reply. Then we both laughed.
We simmered ourselves a bit under the sheets, buck naked, and talked about last night. Then he left.

I didn't know it was the last time I was going to see him. On Monday, he was absent. I was trying to reach him but he never answered any of my calls. Our office mates commented, ‘maybe nahihiya lang yan because of the consequence last night.’ ‘Hehe, siguro nga.’ But seriously, I know there is something up.
I let it pass the next day. Still, he was absent. He wasn‘t texting back, too. I even went to their house to visit his ass but his father said he went to Camiguin.

‘Haven‘t you been informed? He said he went there with his girlfriend for a week.’
Really!? He‘s going on a trip without filing LOA. And I never knew he‘s got a new girlfriend.

A week after I was still contacting him. He answered.
Bro, galit ka ba? Kamusta?
No, busy lang ako.
Busy saan? With your trips? You know what, kung may problema just say it to me.
Buds, I don‘t have problems. I‘ll call you back.

I‘d waited but you never called. I thought there‘s a line now between us and I let this opportunity to lay low thinking we should give ourselves time. A month later, I was calling you and you answered.

Buds, okay ka na?
Why? I was never not okay.
Talaga? You just quit your job pre and most of all I have not seen you for a month. What are you up to?
Wala. I’m fine, don‘t bother.
Yun lang? No news? No something? I think we better meet tomorrow at SB, 8 am.
Sorry buds, I really don‘t have time for those. Busy talaga ko.
You don‘t have time? Do you even have a job and for god‘s sake it‘s our friendship at stake!
I‘ll see you there.
Then he hung up.

I woke up early morning for a meeting I set up myself without an assurance you would show up. I checked on my phone to see you‘d care a message however, maybe I was just expecting too much from you.

I looked outside the window and the clouds looked awful as it was going to burst. ‘Damn! Uulan pa yata.’ I was so impassive of everything from taking a bath to donning my clothes; I was thinking seriously of you to say things I never had a chance to since we became best friends. I was hoping this would be the right time to tell what you and I deserve to know.

It was 10 already and I was still outside the coffee shop waiting. I stood up to see around. Suddenly, the sky roars at me. The place fueled  by aromatic coffee and the murmurs of people gently faded as the rain slowly come down in buckets. I was standing under it with hopes that in any second you would loom and stop them from falling....

I don‘t understand, every raindrop feels like nails stabbing.

-END-
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aE7BzbcjY3U?hl=en&autoplay=1&loop=1"><img src="http://www.gtaero.net/ytmusic/play.png" alt="Play" style="border:0px;" /></a>

Saturday, 22 October 2011

❚ best of friends

A tale of someone I was told.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rain slowly come down in buckets. I was standing under it with hopes that in any second you would loom and stop them from falling....I don‘t understand, every raindrop feels like nails stabbing.

It was not a good night for me pleading you to come. I was calling you and you said you don’t have time and for god’s sake, it is our friendship at stake. I woke up early morning for a meeting I set up myself without an assurance you would show up. I checked on my phone to see you‘d care a message however, maybe I was just expecting too much from you.

The clouds looked awful as it was going to burst. I was so impassive of everything from taking a bath to donning my clothes; I was thinking seriously of you to say things I never had a chance to. I was hoping this would be the right time to tell what you and I deserve to know.

We have been hanging out as friends for over a year now, nothing more than that. But the thing is, there‘s an issue we can‘t fend off. Like a pistol of chauvinism triggered on us and the world we live in is just sided immutable on the left. That whatever we do, we can never be right. To break it, we are both guys.

It was not an issue for us. We have been seeing one another as friends and we never talked anything about it. For us, it was only them whose giving the wrong impression which I supposed to be true. We had done guy things like talking about our past girlfriends, our online games interests, our work, from personal to no-brainer topics. Some people say we‘re like brothers. Some people say we‘re shit judging from their vicious comments.

It was our first salary back then when we both treated ourselves. Actually, it wasn't only the two of us. The newly hired agents celebrate for the first time they received their payroll. It should just be a normal watch-movie-and-eat-blast, though it turned out to be taking on the booze. The group decided to hook up in a grill along Tomas Morato. We got a private room and we sat abreast. 

The other guys noticed and mocked us why have we always been together and we‘re not hanging out with them. It was untimely to think of an answer, and he just said we‘re best friends and we hardly know any of you. Yes, it was straightforward yet far-fetched answer. The women then reacted, well it‘s time for you guys to set that side and start knowing us ‘singles’ better. 

The teasing flames on.

The night is falling deep and deeply the firewater has burned our frame of mind. Away from brass tacks, we started playing games usually played by dipsomaniacs: spin the bottle. To whoever the bottle points get to play truth or consequence.

I was not paying attention about the game ‘cause I was talking to a girl who happens to be depressed. She was bitching about his boyfriend and how immature their relationship was. While giving my advice, I didn‘t know my best friend on the roll took consequence until I felt his lips with mine. It was like 5 seconds and I felt the heat sprawled out in my body. His hands were holding my face but I managed to pushed him off. And the crowd‘s reveled.


to be continued...

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aE7BzbcjY3U?hl=en&autoplay=1&loop=1"><img src="http://www.gtaero.net/ytmusic/play.png" alt="Play" style="border:0px;" /></a>

❚ shit talks



The truth is, I don‘t even know where to start to. I had made a lot of drafts and its piling up my unpublished posts yet I can‘t figure out much what to write.

It has been awhile since I left my blog undisturbed. Every time I paid a visit, I am enticed to scribble at least a paragraph  but when I reached the second, I lose my zeal. Maybe, I don‘t exactly understand the purpose of blogging. I was always hoping that I could bring out stories in a different perspective of me being not much into it. At least now, I understand what it means to be me in my writing.

That‘s it. 

But I guess that is what this blog all about, do shit tales in solitude. For the record, no one I know in real life knows this blog, I suppose I can say all I want(I reiterate all). And even though this grousing doesn't make any sense, I‘ll stay coherent with my posts. 

Nasisira lang yata ulo ko. :)