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Saturday, December 31, 2011

for auld lang syne

I should have posted this earlier. Apparently, it turned out that I‘m a slowpoke. I was having a hard time last night clicking on the publish button, thinkin' if this post is worth posting after all. I guess.

As I wake up later (probably later than anyone else in the house I live), I would take a short bath, shave a few of my beard and mustache, perhaps. And parley on myself to whether I should clean my room just because the year number would change or have it linger that way. A difficult task  to decide on because I don‘t the see the point of it. I can clean anytime I want.

Today could be the last finest day I would have this year. Or, it could be the obverse as I strangle myself from the dumps I've held for the last 364 days. I can still call to mind in detail what I did last New Year's Eve and that doesn't bother me. But doing it again this year without unlikeness of it, I must be missing out something.

Regardless of what I whined, Manigong Bagong Taon!

Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind
Should auld acquaintaince be forgot
And auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne.
And surely you'll be your pint stowp
And surely I'll be mine,
And we'll drink a richt guid willy waught
For auld lang syne.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

happy first ♥

Hi Blog! Isang taon na pala tayong magkasama! Lumipas ang mga panahon ng una kitang makita, lugmok ako nun. Binalikan ko ang una kong post sayo, puro heartaches at kadramahan tungkol kay F lang naman ang laman. Alam ko sinisuka mo na ka-emohan ko nun. Pero hanggang ngayon sinusubukan kong isipin paano kung naging kami. Ewan kaya nga kinalimutan ko na siya (ano daw?). Pero sa totoo lang wala na kong nararamdaman sa kanya. :) Iyan ang totoo sigurado ako diyan.

Alam ko masaya na siya sa kinalalagyan at kinakasama niya ngayon. Masaya na rin ako para sa kanya kahit na inalis niya sa ko friendlist niya sa facebook, kahit wala ng pansinan, kahit dati close kami ngayon hindi na ulit magkakilala, kahit ilang beses ko siyang iniyakan, kahit dati mas pipiliin kong hindi pumasa ang grades pumasa lang ako sa puso niya (sa kasamaang palad binagsak ko parehas). Minahal ko pa rin siya ng buo. I miss the days.

Marami na rin akong nakwento kay blog. Hindi ko nga lang naikukwento lahat kasi minsan nahihiya pa ko. Sana this coming year marami akong makwento mapa English man o Tagalog. Alam ko kasi minsan dumudugo na din ilong nito ni blog eh kaka English ko pero carry lang ang trip. Maraming “sana” akong gusto mangyari sa 2012. Sana mabago ang lahat. Nararamdaman ko may kakaibang mangyayari eh. Oo, I can feel it! Kahit slight lang. May magaganap talaga, wag sana masama. Sana dumami followers ko, sana rin mapalitan ko na yung relationship status ko sa facebook, sana maging friends na ulit kami ni F, sana maging 4th year college na ko sa pasukan (Diyos ko po naman), sana dumami pera ko. Yun lang.

Gusto ko rin pasalamatan lahat ng naging participants ng blog na ito (kahit konti lang kayo happy ako). Sa mga naging kasa-kasama ko this year sa blogosphere! Ang laki ng utang ko sa inyo. Kahit dun sa mga nagpopost sa chatbox ko na hindi ko maintindihan ang salita, I love you all!

May gusto pala akong i-post kay blog kaso nahihiya pa ko. Sinabi ko nga! Mahiyain ako eh. Mag-gagather muna ako ng lakas ng loob. Tungkol muli sa mga kahalayan sa buhay ko. Ahheeem! Change topic, kung mapapansin niyo may bago kay blog. Meron na rin siyang status message sa baba ng header. Improving diba?

Call me an emo pero I‘ll leave this song for you. Haaayyy namiss ko siya, nabuo tong blog dahil sa kanya.

This has been Ken of Solitary Outbreak. See yah punks!
Pero seriously, I‘m grateful that I have reached this stage of blogging. I wish this blog more years to come.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

❚ it was all drawn out in water

mahilig ako magpost ng kalasingan pero this one id say is a little spiced, though. this happened a few weeks ago.

taken during
i am wondering how long have i been in this state — instinctively quenching myself in thirst of being not alone. well, i‘m a happy-go-lucky guy which makes others think that i may not be serious in life. little they know, at my back lies a somber one.

sometimes i think i may be lacking something. or maybe it‘s tha charisma. or maybe my disheartening past experience is calling the shots. or maybe again it‘s my sexuality that i‘m still here in my dim closet. though, i never have any intentions of becoming too loud of being that for i want to stay the same and i want to keep it occult. but how am i going to enter into something if do not know who i am.

last night i wasn't really expecting something. there was an annual event in school where all year levels would come celebrate the night with booths, shows, lights, sky lanterns, fireworks, and what not. and there was a loud music while all of us danced frenziedly. it was an exhausting night so i looked up for my friends to take the smoldering heat to a break before we all collapse. it took me no more than five minutes to find them but as i found them, they were with quite a few companion.

you wanna join a drink?

i never renounce any invitations like that. when it comes to drinking, it would always be hard for me to say no. thereafter, in the middle of the crowd i sought and invited, too my best friend who told me she quit drinking and will just have something to drink other than alcohol. are you trying to be a comedienne? just tell me so i would laugh my ass off. i thought it was me being a malevolent influence to her.

it was all set for us to go to a place where we would spin our heads. it was my first time to get there, and rumors said that students from our college were banned in the vicinity for some brawling matters. nevertheless, we still made our way in. honestly, aside from its electrifying blue lights in front of the bistro, there wasn't any festive in the place compared to other places i‘ve been. anyway, i personally disliked the place.

since it was an unplanned carousal, we were skimping ourselves on what to drink. and so a night with malt bottles. it took us five to six buckets of beer to spend the night high. what made us more euphoric than we should‘t be were our consecutive bottoms up like a machine. we were actually calling it a night though when someone proposed a dare. a dare which pulled us into some dirty things and thus, we ordered another bucket to stay liquored up.

the dare: kiss the opposite sex. it was the group who is doing all the teasing and random pairing, so there‘s  no turning back.

it wasn't long before i realized i had kissed two girls; the one with my friend and the other one was someone i don't  know whom i thought a good kisser since she tried to tongue me. perhaps,  i was a disappointment for her by not returning back or didn't at least have an initiative to roll in.  well, for a person like me whose not used of these stuff or sort of things, it came to me as obscure but at same time interesting. so perked up since i had the camera, everything was recorded as no one would finish kissing unless captured. in which case, the trails and all the evidences and all things that would put them right into corner were on me.

everyone was going wild. there were some that caught our attention who both peed downstairs but were so held up as if they have no plans coming back. for all one knows, they could be taking on the best part of it. and some even makeout with the same sex. it came to my senses that this is all fucked up but fuck it.

fortunately, i was still able to pull myself together and ride home. however to top it all, right after the next day i asked myself as i was passing by them a ghost, did something happened last night?

it was all drawn out in water, wasn't it?